A life of guilt

I've realized a lot of stuff in the past year. I realized that I'm 26 and still I don't know what I want out of life. Except that I want to live it. I have, however, realized what I don't want. But I hate to admit it to myself because I've been brainwashed to believe by everyone around me that If I don't want these things and don't acquire them, I'm a failure.
So, I have lived my life everyday feeling guilty and pleasing everyone else and not ever doing anything I want for myself. Not once in my 26 years. It's gone on so long that I don't know if I ever did know what I wanted or if I had the chance to discover what my purpose was and it flew right pass me in my constant concern to please others.
I know I don't want stuff. I don't want more clutter. I don't want to own a house or a car. I don't know what I want in a partner at all. I think I went to school so my family would be proud. It seemed like the next logical step. So I moved to Los Angeles and studied the only ting I know, art. And in my desperation these past 7 years I think my creativity has suffered more than anything because of this. I've kept others happy for so long I've forgotten completely about myself. Everything I found pleasure in has no feeling anymore. I'm bewildered as to how to get it back, or if it's even possible. So what do I do now? No, this is not asking for a pity party, or "I understand yous" and "feel betters." It's just a truth that I have to admit to myself and though I am sad about it. I don't know what the next step is. I don't know what, if anything makes me happy.
So do I end it here or stay around hoping something comes along that makes me feel something again? And if that doesn't happen do I hold on for the next round and the next? Or do I just go back to pretending because that seemed to work?