To the Land of Homesick Fully Grown Children!

I'm off. My plane leaves at 6:40 am. I should get there at 4:30pm. There's an hour delay in Philly. I'm nervous. Not so much because I'm going solo. I'm looking forward to that. More so because of the living situation I'll be in. It's a hostel I'm staying in. So I will have a bunk in a room shared with others. I hope whoever they are they're nice. I'm thinking of it as a vacation first and foremost. Then we'll see how things flow from there. Well until we meet again. I don't know where, I don't know when. But it was lovely. And If I never had the chance of meeting you in person, maybe one day we'll get the chance. But at the very least, we're all always connected by underground wires....

Goodbye Old Unfaihful

Dear Gray Volvo 240GL,

Today is the last day I'll be you owner, for I have donated you and tomorrow a tow truck from the KCET department will come and take you away from me for ever. You are the only car I didn't wreck or fuck up to the point beyond repair. We had many a long drive to MGA and back again. You served me well. But sometimes not so well, you cost me lots of money to fix, and left me stranded in the most inconvenient of times. And while I will miss you. I am happy we are going our separate ways. At least you had a Cd player and a radio that worked as opposed to any other automobile I've had, and you never blew your tires. Rest assured though, that if I ever do buy another car again, it will be one of your brothers or sisters in the 240 series. I'll always remember you thanks to the wonders of the digital world. For if they not existed, you would be erased from my memory forever, like everything else beyond the span of six months.

xo
~Daniel

Current Musical Obsessions

What's currently on repeat on my Ipod

Yummers

Irene's parents came over this weekend.

A life of guilt

I've realized a lot of stuff in the past year. I realized that I'm 26 and still I don't know what I want out of life. Except that I want to live it. I have, however, realized what I don't want. But I hate to admit it to myself because I've been brainwashed to believe by everyone around me that If I don't want these things and don't acquire them, I'm a failure.
So, I have lived my life everyday feeling guilty and pleasing everyone else and not ever doing anything I want for myself. Not once in my 26 years. It's gone on so long that I don't know if I ever did know what I wanted or if I had the chance to discover what my purpose was and it flew right pass me in my constant concern to please others.
I know I don't want stuff. I don't want more clutter. I don't want to own a house or a car. I don't know what I want in a partner at all. I think I went to school so my family would be proud. It seemed like the next logical step. So I moved to Los Angeles and studied the only ting I know, art. And in my desperation these past 7 years I think my creativity has suffered more than anything because of this. I've kept others happy for so long I've forgotten completely about myself. Everything I found pleasure in has no feeling anymore. I'm bewildered as to how to get it back, or if it's even possible. So what do I do now? No, this is not asking for a pity party, or "I understand yous" and "feel betters." It's just a truth that I have to admit to myself and though I am sad about it. I don't know what the next step is. I don't know what, if anything makes me happy.
So do I end it here or stay around hoping something comes along that makes me feel something again? And if that doesn't happen do I hold on for the next round and the next? Or do I just go back to pretending because that seemed to work?

For the Bible Tells me So is one of those films that if everyone in this country watched, it would send a tidal wave of change. It's amazing how a book that is used world wide, whose very intention was to teach acceptance, tolerance, and love. Has been completely redefined, and warped beyond recognition of it's original form, in todays society to promote hate and violence towards those that are different.

The Neighborhood

There was filming again in the neighborhood today. My apartment building is right outside the gates of a gated community...But I always park inside because there is always parking there as oppose to the street directly in front of my building. When they film in the neighborhood which is full of picturesque mega homes, therefore perfect for films, they don't let vehicles park there. If we do park, or forget to move our vehicle the day prior, it gets towed. Only in L.A. Those houses are full of black families. And judging from the size of those homes and their interiors, which they proudly display by leaving their curtains open, they're very wealthy. I believe every single one of those homes is inhabited by families remarkably similar to those below, and they get into all crazy sorts of shenanigans, adventures, and high jinks on a weekly basis...

The Winslows from Family Matters

The Huxtables

The Banks from The Fresh Prince